Wednesday, January 31, 2007

My personal ad shall read like this:

"Hi, I'm 25 years old, have found 5 gray hairs in the last week, cannot make coffee and spend all my time working or reading for school. I talk to my cats (they don't answer), and I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I do not like walking on the beach, I'm not particularly fond of candles, and romantic gestures usually result in me rolling my eyes.

I do like musicals, girlie movies, and girlie drinks.

Give me a call!"

Monday, January 29, 2007

I have two things to say:

  1. I am a dumbass, and should not have waited until the weekend to start reading for class Tuesday. I read for seven hours straight yesterday and get to go home and do it again after work today.
  2. The ONLY reason I would ever want to be a movie star is so that people would come over to my house and do my hair and makeup for me. I'd wake up, take a shower, and then three people would show up and do everything else. (Three - makeup, hair, eyebrows.) I'm not a big fan of being famous, or of shallow people, so I could do without the rest of it.

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Friday, January 26, 2007

While I was at the eye doctor's office this morning, I opened up this book and noticed that it started with page 13.

I'm not sure how familiar most people are with books, but they are not supposed to start on page 13. Usually, they start with page 1, and then 12 pages later you get to 13. Although, I am reading this book for my Magical Realism class and it did occur to me that it might just be some author's weird way of standing out from the crowd - starting the book on page 13, and then switching the page numbers around throughout the rest of the book. Or, just starting on page 13 as a way to challenge the conventions, or signify a departure from everyday reality. I checked on Amazon.com, and there should indeed be a page 1-12 included in my book. See what being an English major for so long has done to me? Now I have to see if the bookstore will let me exchange the book so that I can actually read the entire thing.

I did read a book last year (for my Victorian Lit. class) that was out of print, so I had to get a reprinted copy from some shady publisher. I finished reading the entire thing (it was very lengthy) and was ready to discuss it in class. Halfway through the class, I realized that the reason everyone kept talking about parts of the story that I didn't remember was because my copy didn't include the last third of the book. The aforementioned shady publisher didn't feel like including that last part, so my book just ended. This was in addition to the MANY typos and misspellings throughout the book. I imagine that some poor secretary was sitting in a dingy basement in front of a typewriter, and her boss ordered her to retype a huge old book. She probably figured that no one (especially her boss) would ever actually read what she was doing, so she just typed everything without going back to correct anything. Two-thirds of the way through she got sick with pneumonia (or influenza?) from sitting in the moldy wet basement and her boss decided to just publish what she had done without even bothering to look at it. I still haven't read the last part of that book, and I kind of wonder what happened to good old Robert Elsmere.


Edited to say: I think he died.

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Thursday, January 25, 2007

I've been trying very hard not to whine here, but I am going to whine. You have been warned.

I had disgusting coffee this morning with the grounds still in it, my head hurts, I am sleepy, and I have too much stuff to do that I don't want to do.

No more whining, you may return to your regularly scheduled lives.










P.S. I forgot when I posted yesterday that most people in the world have not heard of David LaMotte, so here is his website. You should definitely check him out - he makes the best, most soothing, most genuine music I've ever heard. Similar to watching/reading Little Women, listening to his music makes me believe there is good in the world again. And we all need that.

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I haven't done random thoughts in awhile, so here we go:

  • After a discussion at lunch today, I have something to tell all the males of the world: Girls are WAY more weird than you ever give us credit for. And maybe even a little crazy. Also, don't buy a Mazda truck unless you like having your stuff stolen.
  • I am going to have a BUTTLOAD of reading to do this semester. There go my weekends, and probably most week nights. (Hehehehe...Firefox is telling me that I spelling "buttload" wrong. Try this stupidasshoebagshitface spelling check! Just kidding, I love spell check.)
  • Fat free Fig Newtons are where it is at.
  • Unlike most people that listen to music they like, I listen to music I feel. It takes me forever at work to decide what I feel like listening to at a certain time, and you can usually tell my mood on any given day by checking the cd player in my car. If I'm listening to David LaMotte, it's probably best to leave me alone.
  • I have no opinions whatsoever about the Oscar race. I've only seen about 2 of the movies that have been nominated for anything, and I have no strong attachment to any of the races.
  • It is going to cost $136.14 to get my car fixed. Poor Jetta. Actually, I should say poor credit card.
  • Why oh why did no one ever tell me about air dust? This is stuff is fabulous, and is an excellent distraction from actually doing something.
  • I am out of publishable random thoughts.

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

First Day of School: Part 2

Today is my first day of school, what with all of the rain/ice/sleet/snow/cold/wind canceling school last week. This semester both of my classes are on the same day, which will make Tuesdays very long but the rest of the week will be much better. My second semester of grad school I took 9 hours - I had class Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights from 6:30-9pm. It felt like pretty much every night I got home at 9:30pm and then had to be at work at 8am the next day. It SUCKED. ASS.

On Tuesday afternoons I will be taking Magical Realism, with a professor who also teaches Children's Lit. classes. (As I type this, I don't think anyone really cares what the hell classes I am taking, my it's my blog so you have to read it. Bitches.) In the evening I will join the world of people who know stuff about Milton; yes, that's right folks, I get to read Renaissance poetry for a semester. My favorite. This is the first semester that I haven't taken a children's lit course, and I am very sad. The course they are offering this semester is the Golden Era, and they are reading Alice in Wonderland, Little House on the Prairie, Winnie the Pooh, Peter Rabbit, Eight Cousins, Peter Pan, Little Lord Fauntleroy, Black Beauty, Anne of Green Gables, and The Wind in the Willows. I am very very very jealous and really want to take this class. Stupid requirements, don't you know that I went to grad school to take ONLY the classes that I wanted to take? Whatever.

In other news...Well, there isn't really any other news.

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Sunday, January 21, 2007

Question:

Where do the women in M*A*S*H get their makeup and false eyelash supplies? Not to mention curling irons, hair spray, and hair clips. And martini glasses and olives?!?! I mean, really.

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Thursday, January 18, 2007

After zero new shoes during the endless hours I was stuck at home with nothing to do, the day I return to work tv busts out with some awesome new stuff!

  • First of all, the Scrubs musical!! Written by the same people that wrote Avenue Q, and guest starring Stephanie D'Abruzzo (who originated a role in Avenue Q), could this show get more up my alley?
  • A new Ugly Betty - I'm so excited that America Ferrara won the Golden Globe! - which is an exciting event all by itself.
  • A new Grey's Anatomy; on the heels of the loooong "f-word" (you know the one I'm talking about) controversy, extra drama can be added to the show by looking for emotional conflict between Dr. Burke and the rest of the cast. Plus, this is just a really good show.

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

You go sister!

On a side note, we here in Texas are FREEZING OUR ASSES OFF, and could you people in the North take back your weather? You guys have snow plows and sand and salt and chains and gloves and know how to deal with this crap. Our freaking airport ran out of de-icer, and it has never occurred to my apartment complex that maybe since everything is COVERED IN FORTY LAYERS OF ICE they should sand/salt down the sidewalks and stairs.

Oh, and also? I'm not so good with the cabin fever. I'm ready to go back to work...or at least to stop talking to the cats exclusively.

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The view off of my patio this morning:





I think I might be going a little stir crazy!

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Monday, January 15, 2007

Having Monday off for Martin Luther King Day when it is yucky outside?

Awesome.

Getting Tuesday off from work AND school because of the possibility of snow/sleet/ice?

Priceless!

(This means that I don't start school for another week, because of all my classes are on Tuesday. Score!)


I do have a question though - what is the difference between sleet and freezing rain? I thought sleet was frozen rain.

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Friday, January 12, 2007

AHHHHHHH!

Bebe Neuwirth is in Chicago, and Lea Salonga is in Les Miserables. Are you kidding me?!

Not to mention this.

Or this.

Or even this.

And this, or this, or this, or this, or this, or this, or this.

Sob.

I have got to stay off of Broadway.com unless I am actually go to be going to Broadway.






Oh, I hadn't even heard about this!

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Ever since I joined Facebook, I have started to think about my life in terms of the Facebook status message.

For example:

  • Beth is...having a wonderful day.
  • Beth is...wondering what the hell she did before coffee.
  • Beth is...sitting at work alone because it is a rainy day and no one wanted to come in and keep her company.


You get the picture. I do think it is weird to be narrating my own life in the third person. I don't actually put all that information up all the time (I don't want to be annoying and tell a bunch of people that I mostly don't really talk to my every move), but I can't help thinking about it.

Sometime, I would like to put up the following messages:

  • Beth is...having a blast in NYC going to see every play & musical on Broadway.
  • Beth is...done with grad school!
  • Beth is...???

And that really comes down to my point. There are a few things that I would like to do in the future, including moving to a big city and/or traveling through Europe for a year, but beyond those I don't really know what I want to do. I could teach - but I really don't know if I am going to be able to teach in Texas, the land where we worship standardized testing. I could get my doctorate - but I don't know if I'm cut out to write a dissertation, much less actually teach at a university. I could look into other jobs - but what kind of job is perfect for someone who has a love of literature but not writing? (I mean serious writing kids, not the kind of crap I put up here.)

And then I get worried about my parents and wonder how much longer they are going to be able to keep going the same way that they are now. And I worry about my sister, and wonder what her plans for the future are. And I worry about my cats, and wonder if I could leave them for a year, and if I couldn't how I could move them across the country/world. And I worry that maybe I won't actually have the guts to move somewhere else and that I'll end up living in the same stupid town for the rest of my life.

But - I've done it before. I've moved across the country to a town/state in which I didn't know a single soul. I've traveled to NYC by myself and had a blast. I've wanted to see and be other places for as long as I can remember. I can do this, I can do something.

One more year of grad school, and then we will see where I am. It's kind of scary not knowing, not having a specific goal...but the tingling, exciting kind of scary.

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And on a totally separate note, my hair smells really nice today. I used a different shampoo (every girl knows that you must switch shampoo every once in awhile to get rid of build up), and I am really digging the smell. Every time I turn my head, it's like sticking my face in a bowl of flowers. Ahh, to be a girl.

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Thursday, January 11, 2007

Oh God, I just cried at work reading this. I can't imagine how anyone else could sum things up better:

"I joke about Hobey's thousand-dollar operation, but I paid every dime happily at the time. I don't care how much it costs; I want him better. I want him fixed up. I want him to come home and chow down on Pounce treats. I don't care if I have to max out all my credit cards. I don't understand how someone could have left that little stray cat out on the street. I don't understand people who leave cats out on the curb like old furniture. A cat is not a toy. A cat is not a futon. A cat is a friend. A cat is a family member. A cat is not an expense. I can't put a price on Hobey. Hobey has ruined every sweater I own. Hobey has destroyed the arm of my couch. Hobey has left pawprints on legal documents. Hobey has curled up beside me on winter afternoons when I had a cold and pretended not to mind when I coughed every two seconds. Hobey has consoled me during heartbreak. Hobey is a hellion. Hobey is a rock. Hobey is a pest. Hobey is a pillow."

- from TomatoNation.com

My cat, Ghost, was sick from July - November 2006, and I just about lost it quite a few times. It's nice to know that someone else has felt that way.

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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Have you seen those TLC commercials that advertise American Chopper? There's one where all three guys (Mikey, Paulie, and Paul Sr.) are all sleeping in a little girl's room, and the little girl asks her dad when their house guests are going to be leaving because she wants her room back. Her dad answers, "Have you seen the size of that man's arms? Daddy's not asking him anything anytime soon."

Cracks me up every time. Seriously, laughing until I fall on the floor. I'm laughing now just thinking about it.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

I don't really have any opinions about anything today. I think my brain has been mesmerized into into repeating the same thoughts over and over again by my hands rhythmically stuffing and sealing envelopes.

The same (ever repeating) thoughts?

  • I want to go to NYC.
  • I really really want to go to NYC.
  • I want to live in a big city.
  • I really really want to live in a big city (NYC, London, SF, etc.)
  • I can't believe I am more than halfway done with a master's degree and my job is to stuff envelopes.

And that's about it.

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Saturday, January 06, 2007

Because I was really sad about taking my Christmas decorations down, I present:




"A Photo Essay, via Blogger and Flickr."
All pictures, decorating, and uploading done by me.






Pretty green and red tinsel, oh how I will miss you. Silver bow, clear lights, how will I ever sleep without your comforting (yet shiny) presence?




Oh one pretty red ornament in a tree full of silver, your outstanding self will be sorely missed.



My beautiful little tree, how shall I ever go to the bathroom without your gentle branches grabbing my legs? How will Ollie ever amuse himself without having you to turn completely upside down?



My poor snowmen that never got to see the light of Santa's face. I am ever so sorry, green guy on the left, that Ollie knocked your hat off in an effort to kill the deadly, furry, stocking. And little red guy at the end...I will mourn your passing with great remorse, especially because it was my fault you fell on the ground shortly after I took this picture and broke in half.



Hey there fiber optic Santa. I think I may miss your cherry lights and slightly creepy face most of all. Dude, are you high?



Pretty, pretty twinkly snowflakes from the patio, how will I ever watch tv at night and not have your glowing faces beam down on me? While some may claim that your effects resemble a strobe light, I know that you are just excited about bringing (fake) snow to us poor southerners. We'll see you next year for sure.



Sigh...no longer will my iridescent silver tinsel decorate my view to the outside world. I know that in years past your were able to glow with the lights I wrapped around you, but this year I got a little busy. And the light bill from last December terrified me. But you did your best, as you always do. Shine on, shiny tinsel. Shine on.



My first addition to the Christmas of 2006. I know that Ollie, Ghost, and I will miss your cheery message every morning and evening. Although you are not technically spelled correctly, you have spirit, and I like that.



I know this picture doesn't have any Christmas decorations in it, but I just had to show the world what my cats do all day in the winter. There is an electric blanket under that comforter, on high, and Ghost and Ollie spend entire days stretched across it. We should all be so lucky.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

How much of a dork am I?

I just bought this, and cannot wait for it to arrive.

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They say that you know you've grown up when you start worrying about your parents.






It sucks.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Because my sleeping is really fucked up and I decided to drink a soda at 8:30pm tonight, I can't sleep. And while I was laying in bed not sleeping I was thinking. You know how all those dating/match-making sites have tips for dating? Well, here are my excellent tips for how not to get a date (which, by the way, most I have personally used to succeed admirably in remaining alone forever):
  • Don't talk to any member of the opposite sex (or which ever sex you are interested in).
  • If a member of the opposite sex talks to you, blush and don't think of anything to say; this is especially common if you actually like the person.
  • Be unattractive.
  • Be mean, rude, abrasive, or contrary (you know, if they say something, you say the exact opposite).
  • Be picky (has bad taste in music, smokes, has done drugs in the past, doesn't read, is stupid, watches too much sports, hates animals, doesn't get along with your friends, drinks too much, is annoying, just gives you that "ichy" feeling, has bad hair, etc.).
  • If you do actually like someone, for heaven's sake never tell them or have any kind of communication with them at all. Ever.
  • Don't think you are good enough to get a date.
  • Hate everyone.
  • Have a very small group of friends and don't ever do anything with anyone outside of that group.
  • Don't go out.
  • Watch too many romantic comedies (i.e. Bridget Jones) in which the perfect guy magically appears at the front door. And then wait for him (or her), forever if need be.
  • Wait for the other person to make the first move; maybe they just need a couple of years to get up the courage - right?
  • If someone introduces themselves at a bar, shake their hand and look away.
  • In fact, always look away; never making solid eye contact is a good way to say "Go away, I don't like you."
  • Get so nervous in any new social situation that you get sweaty, can't think of anything to say, have a panic attack, and then run away.
Considering the only dating tips I've ever really heard are "make eye contact," and "be confident," I think my tips are much more helpful. Realistic advice that is easy to follow, proven by real people. Of course, I don't do all of these things, but I've tried enough of them to prove that they work.

Man, I get cranky when I don't sleep.

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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Happy New Year! Check out my drunken picture artwork:




We had a wonderful time in downtown San Antonio. Although it turns out that drinking wine, beer, rum & coke, champagne, and eating jello shots makes for one hell of a hangover. And wearing really cute champagne colored high heels to walk around downtown was not the best idea. I felt bad for all those with me for all my complaining, but DAMN my feet hurt. Even 48 hours later my feet still hurt. It is not totally my fault as I did not know that our driver's idea of a good parking place was somewhere free within 5 miles of our destination.

Anyway, we heard a really cool salsa band, I taught Erin a dance move, we wore the above "Happy New Year" headbands which flashed periodically, met some random people (including the cutest little boy that would not stop staring at Erin), participated in a very large televised countdown to midnight, saw another band in a famous bar (I believe it was a Cajun band), drank some over-priced alcohol and all in all had a really fun time. I also discovered that I really like my hair straight, although I used Erin's Chi which might be why it actually looked good. Oh, and I LOVE wearing false eyelashes - I have a pair of glow-in-the-dark eyelashes that I have never worn. I can't quite figure out when would be the best time for them to make their appearance.

Side note: I've never actually seen an episode of Beauty and the Geek (I'm not a big fan of reality tv), but I am psyched that they are using Bowling for Soup in their ads. I really dig them - A Hangover You Don't Deserve is our official road trip cd, and their new cd The Great Burrito Extortion Case is awesome. They are the happiest rock band ever.

I have to go back to work tomorrow. I haven't been to work for almost three weeks, and it has been sooooo nice. I can't remember the last time I had such a long (paid) vacation, and I've actually accomplished many of the things I wanted to. I've read three books, watched a lot of movies, cleaned up my DVR, cleaned my apartment, caught up on paperwork (both mine and my parent's), hung out with friends and family, and did laundry. I am refusing to take down my Christmas decorations, though - I am going to wait until next weekend. I did vacuum, and am currently giving myself a pat on the back for that!

Posting should be more regular now that I am returning to my routine. Come to think of it, everything should be more regular now, including my sleep schedule. I am normally getting ready to go to sleep around 10:30-11pm and wake up at 6:30am; lately I have been going to bed at 1 or 2am and waking up at 11am. Whoops. Anyway, I hope you all had a wonderful New Year's Eve and are currently hard at work on your New Year's Resolutions.

(In case you didn't notice, I have refrained from posting the oh-so-prosaic "Top 10 List" or "My New Year's Resolutions". That might be because I haven't made any lists or resolutions, but still. I should get originality points.)



P.S. My New Year's Resolution is to brush my teeth EVERY NIGHT before going to bed. I'm really good at the morning thing, but I tend to fall into bed at night without worrying about silly things like brushing my teeth...no, I'm much more concerned with bigger worries, like why the cat refuses to sleep anywhere except on my arm.


P.P.S. Okay, I cracked. I guess my resolutions should not include keeping one's promises.

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