I just realized that when thinking about what to write in my blog, I want to start every sentence with "you know..." And I thought, hey, maybe they don't know. So I'm going to tell you.

When it is 26 degrees outside, there is nothing so fabulous as spilling hot coffee in your lap and then having to walk around the corner to wash your hands. And by fabulous, I mean a motherfucking-waste of caffeine.

"Hi! Hello people! How are you? Me? I'm just maaaarvelous, darling! This stain here? Yup, coffee, all down my leg."