Dear Internet,

I can't decide if these shoes are cute, or for old ladies...what do you think?

Also, I think I have a shoe problem. I haven't bought any in awhile, but tomorrow is payday....

Item #9487438 for avoiding working on a paper?

Googling procrastination.


How pathetic am I????

These things are really the same

Usually when I think about moving I get lost in the idea of looking for a new apartment, the hunt for hardwood floors and a fireplace, getting to unpacking everything in a new space (my absolute favorite part of moving). I think about how exciting it will be to find a new coffee shop, or being able to walk to the grocery store, being able to be a new person, meeting new people.

Last night I remembered the other part of moving - the terrifying feeling that you are leaving everything and everyone you know behind. Having to make new friends, figure out where to go to get your car fixed, not having anyone to go to the movies with, being far away from your family, have to spend too much money traveling back and forth...

I think knowing that I've already moved across the country once before kind of hampers my judgment. I know both the awesome things about it, and the scary things. I LOVED being on my own, and exploring new places, and doing things that I NEVER would have done at home, but people were not as friendly as I thought they would be, and I was put in several situations that I never want to be in again. Also, I really missed my family and friends and it felt like their world was moving on without me.

Everything is becoming a little more real to me as I inch closer to graduation, and the pressure to HAVE A PLAN ALREADY is starting to get me. I am tired of having to say "I don't know" whenever anyone asks me what I am going to do after December. And although it seems like I have been in school for forever, I'm afraid if I leave it for too long before going back I won't remember anything.

I'm also procrastinating a little bit about writing these papers. You'd think by now I'd have to learned to just sit down and do it already.

An evening at my house

Or, what happens after I work on a paper for five hours.

This is what Ghost does. Notice the blanket over the chair, and the paw over the eyes.

This is what Ollie does. Notice the jacket over his bed.

This is the stack of book and articles that I am using for ONE of my papers. Yes, I said one. The stack for the other is much smaller because a)I hate the class b)I think the material I have to use is stupid and c)I don't want to write the paper. And also I can't find much. Anyway, here is the stuff for the paper I am excited about writing.

Unless you are really into children's literature most of that makes no sense to you, but I find it interesting. The book I'm using is Diana Wynne Jones' Fire and Hemlock. Good stuff.


Well, I need to decide if I am jazzed enough on caffiene to finish what I was working on, or if I am sleepy enough to go to bed. I think I'll work for a little longer since I just wasted 30 minutes talking to you people.

Linky Love

If you are very observant, you have noticed that I have updated my links on the right.

I've been in kind of a lull at work lately, so I've been reading ALL of Fish's archives. Very, very worth reading even if reading them makes you want to knock over a bank, buy a one-way ticket to NYC for myself and the cats, then hire movers to bring the rest of my stuff once I've found a place to live. Well, that was a tangent, and the point is that if you are experiencing a similar lull, you should go read This Fish Needs a Bicycle. Or, just put off everything you are supposed to be doing and go read. 'Cause that's really what I'm doing.

Lazy Sunday?

I kept thinking that I was going to have to write about what a lazy slob I was yesterday, and then I actually sat down and thought about what I did. And I realized that I actually did accomplish a few things, including:

• Made fettucini alfredo from scratch
• Made queso
• Made coffee
• Made macaroni & cheese (I was trying to make enough food for the week so that I wouldn't have to cook later)
  
• Did the dishes
• Did ALL of my laundry, including hanging everything up
• Cleaned off my desk
• Searched for my lost staff id & $20 copy card
• Read a book (although it was a small one)
• Watched 2 shows saved on my DVR
• Took my dad to San Antonio
• Told the story of Saturday night three times
• Slept in AND took nap (recovering from previously mentioned Saturday night)
• Put up all of my shoes
• Made the bed

I don't think that is too shabby, do you? The real reason I felt like I didn't get anything accomplished is that I didn't really do any of the school things I needed to, and my floors are a MESS. I really need to sweep, mop, and vacuum. The only problem is that I don't have enough time until Wednesday to do the manual labor involved, I'm almost out of Swiffer wet-jet pads for the mop, and I've had my vacuum for 2 years now and have never changed a single filter on it. Tonight I need to:

• Clean the litter box (sorry kids, but it must be done)
• Decide upon a paper topic (and write up exactly what it is I will be writing about, including a paper title)
• Make sure that said paper topic does not overlap too much with previous articles written by people who know a lot more than me
• Read a chapter of a very complex book all about cognitive science (don't EVEN get me started), then outline it
• Read perhaps another book for my magical realism class, because I think I read the wrong one
• Sleep

And maybe someday I will get around to actually posting a real entry that does not include a list in any form. But, until then I am going to set iTunes to random, answer an email, and actually work for the remaining 40 minutes.

Movies that I have seen 6,000 times and could watch another 6,000 times

(Also known as my version of cinematherapy; I wrote the bulk of this post during Spring Break but it has taken me awhile to do all of the pictures and links.)

Bridget Jones' Diary

Preferably the first one, but the second one will do in a pinch. I can recite this movie line-by line. Literally.




Chasing Liberty

I love Mandy Moore, and that guy's British accent kills me. Plus, Jeremy Piven is hilarious.





The Chronicles of Riddick

For when I feel like kicking a little ass. Or looking at a REALLY well-built man. Mmmm.




Clueless


The movie of my adolescence. Such a great movie, especially the little monologues. AND, it is based on Jane Austen, hello!






Elektra


Another movie for when I feel like kicking ass. While some may say this is not the best movie ever, I love it. And to those people that say this is not a good movie, I say: Please bitch, you only wish you could wear red lingerie and swing around those knife things.




Emma

Again, Jane Austen, yay! Although I choose Children's Lit as my focus in grad school, I could have also gone with Victorian Lit. Jane Eyre would be on this list if I found a movie version that didn't SUCK ASS. Anyway, this is a great movie.




The Fifth Element

I LOVE THIS MOVIE. I don't even know why, but I just do. My parents think it is strange, but I don't care. I have it on DVD, but every time it comes on tv I can't help but watch it.





Funny Girl

People...people who need people...just kidding. Singing, comedy, and the inability of people to work out their marriages. Love it. I think everyone should have to watch this movie, it is a classic.





Little Women

Ahhhh, I think I have mentioned before, but this movie (and the book) makes me feel safe, and as if the world makes sense. Even if it really doesn't.





Love Actually
I cry every single time I watch this movie, I can't help it. I love the music, and there are enough storylines to keep me involved every time I watch it. My favorite scenes are Emma Thompson listening to Joni Mitchell and that guy freaking out when the girl who married his best friend finds out that he likes her. It sounds like a soap opera, but it is great stuff.



The Matchmaker
I'm watching this right now...I usually pair it with The Truth About Cats and Dogs and have a Janeane Garofalo movie fest. I never heard about this movie until I pulled the VHS out of the bargain bin, but now I watch it once a year or so. It's a cute little movie in Ireland, and I love how the guy starts off as a idiot and then becomes human.




The Matrix (ONLY the first one)

Such a good movie, I was so sad when they had to fuck it up with the second and third ones. I just pretend that they don't exist.





Meet Joe Black


For when I feel like crying. A very subtle, slow movie; very well done.




My Best Friend's Wedding

This movie is also a classic, especially the music. Rupert Everett cracks me up, as done the scene at the restaurant where they all bust out into song.




Newsies


I memorized all the words to the songs to this movie LONG before they released the soundtrack on cd. I've seen it THAT many times. A great, great movie - a must for anyone that likes musicals.




Playing By Heart

This used to be my favorite movie of all time, and I still like it although I can't watch it as much as before. An excellent example of story interweaving, and it also has an awesome soundtrack.




Pirates of the Caribbean (ONLY the first one)


Funny, funny stuff, especially the scene on the beach after Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann get drunk together. "But why is the rum gone?!?!"




Sliding Doors


Another bargain bin discovery, this is a strange, wonderfully weird movie. And by golly, those accents always get me.




The Sound of Music


There is nothing I can say about this movie that hasn't been said before, so I'm not going to explain why I watch it over and over - I simply do.





10 Things I Hate About You

The last year I worked at summer camp, I watched this movie during every single break I had. It is funny, sweet, bitter, literary, and exciting all in one.




13 Going on 30

Aww, this movie is not particularly good, but so cute. I just shrivel up with sweetness when I watch this movie.




The Truth About Cats and Dogs
As mentioned above, this is part of the Janeane Garofalo movie night. This is the better of the two movies, and I also can't help but watch it whenever it comes on tv. The scene when he is taking the girl's photographs, gets caught up taking Uma Thurman's pictures, and forgets all about the other girl kills me.


White Christmas


See my Christmas list of movies.





You've Got Mail
Ooohhh, I LOVE THIS MOVIE. Love it. I am hard pressed to pick a favorite between this and Bridget Jones, but I think I have seen them both the same amount of times. I can also recite the dialogue along with the movie, especially the email voice overs. I also love that this movie is in NYC, it is exactly the kind of life I want to live.



XXX

See The Chronicles of Riddick. This movie is much sillier (I mean, really, when does a rebel-turned-USA-spy blow up 15 dozen luxury cars?) but it is fun to watch. Plus, you know, the beautiful man factor.

Okay, I need to make a plan for the day so that I don't waste the entire day taking naps and watching home improvement/cooking shows. Like I would do that. Oh wait, that's what I did yesterday. And I am very sure that you all are interested in this, but I think telling that publishing my to-do list will help me actually do it. Kind of like how you're supposed to tell everyone you know when you go on a diet.

My Monday-of-Spring-Break To Do List:

• Dishes
• Laundry
• Sweep
• Mop
• Vacuum
• Organize school stuff
• Read for school
• Take pictures?

Tomorrow I will go to the library. Ugh.

My thoughts about the Oscars (because no one else is doing this):

• Ellen cracks my shit up. So does Meryl Streep.
  
• Nicole Kidman is much taller and thinner than I thought she was.
• Will Smith's kid is way cute.
  
• Clive Owen is the sexiest man at the Oscars....maybe even in the world.
• Side note - it's kind of hard to type on a laptop with two cats in my lap.
• Fast-forwarding through all the boring crap is wonderful.
• Kate Winslet is one of my heroes; in my humble opinion, she is the most beautiful woman at the Oscars.
• What the hell happened to Al Gore's face? Speaking of which, I have no idea who I'm going to vote for in the next presidential election. Hmm, something to research. In my spare time.
• I was telling my parents the other day that Hugh Jackman might be starring in a new musical version of Gone With the Wind, and my mom had no idea who Hugh Jackman was.
• I really really should see Pan's Labyrinth.
  
• Same goes for Little Miss Sunshine.
• In fact, I should probably see all of those other movies, except Dreamgirls. You know I saw that.
• I'm kind of concerned for Jennifer Hudson's boobs. I mean, congratulations to her for winning and all, but I think that they are about to pop out of her dress.
• Phillip Seymour Hoffman is seriously creepy.
• I don't care who you are, you have to love Will Smith.
• Wow, I thought for sure that Leo would win.
• Thank the Lord Martin finally won Best Director...now everyone can quit talking about it.

So, to sum up: love, creepy, boobs, boring crap, sexy man, and shit.

One of the things that terrifies me most about writing is that someone always seems to say what I want to say, only they said it first and much more articulately.

And then there are days that I thank God for the internet, because I can find people that write things that I've always wanted to say, but either never got around to actually writing it, or never had the guts to put it on paper (or screen).

In celebration of both of these things, I found this while not writing my paper this evening:

"I wanted to have the lovely house on the acreage, the woodshed full of firewood and the garden full of goodness out back. I wanted to have the quaint and colorful kitchen with the big heavy locally made coffee cups, the big spice rack, the pots hanging from the ceiling and the plants along with window above the sink. I wanted to look out that window and see my family’s clothes drying in the noonday sun. I wanted the big bookcase and the two reading chairs in the cozy living room. I wanted to have a house full of music, children laughing, toys to be picked up everyday and a faithful dog in front of the stone hearth. I wanted to be able to walk a steamy cup of coffee to my desk, where I’d work for bits of the day at a time. I wanted to pack the kids up and go into town or over to Gramma’s house. I wanted to lay every night beside the man I love and I wanted to wake up with his arms around me every morning. I wanted to feel safe and loved and protected and cherished. I wanted to love so fiercely and be loved back with such confidence that nothing could keep us from rocking on the porch of our house forever and ever until the end.

I wanted these things all my life. Oh, the details have changed somewhat over the years but the general life map is there. The home, the “man”, the kids. What if my time is over? What if I missed that train?

I’m so tired of wanting these things, but there’s nothing else I really want for myself. And I’m really having a hard time being thankful for what I do have." - http://blog.reddirtroad.ca/

Top 10 Things I Would Rather Be Doing Now (instead of writing an essay exploring a close reading of lines 121-146 in Paradise Regained, Book II):

1. Taking pictures
2. Taking a nap
3. Playing with the cats
4. Sitting on my patio reading a good book
5. Watching a movie with all of the windows open
6. Shopping
7. Walking
8. Driving out RR 32 with the windows rolled down, listening to my now-fixed cd player
9. Drinking coffee at some nice little cafe, reading the newspaper
10. Getting my eyes lasered again, or a root canal, or that really fun appointment that women have to do every year.

I think you get the picture.

Once upon a time, in a land far away...



There lived a young lady who greatly desired to learn more about literature. She spent her free time reading and enjoyed talking about books, so she decided to enroll in graduate school to study literature.

She had a wonderful time attending classes, meeting new people, and discussing the finer points of a wide variety of works. She learned about Chaucer and Shakespeare, the difference between modernism and post-modernism, the effects of the Industrial Revolutions on the three volume novel, and the replacements and additions to the canon of learned authors. She decided the she really loved reading, analyzing, and assessing children's literature so she found a professor sympathetic to her cause and they joined forces.

As time passed and the shine began to wear off, this young lady realized that there was something haunting her footsteps. No matter what she did or where she went, she felt a large menacing presence, ready to pounce. She gradually began to lose sleep worrying about the presence, wondering if it would ever show its face.

Then, one late and unseasonably warm November day, the evil shadow finally showed its true face. A horribly large, ugly, and fire breathing dragon was now following her closer than ever. The dragon had red, bleary eyes, pointed books for teeth, and its scales were made of paper covered in writing. The young (formerly carefree) lady knew that her time had come, and that the PAPER DRAGON was there to eat her. She piled mounds of books and papers around her, hoping to slow down or distract the dragon. She drank gallons of caffeine in an attempt to be ever vigilant, and tried to put as much distance between the creature and herself.

It was no use. The dragon knew that the young lady would not be able to run any more and that he would triumph by midnight that night.

To Be Continued...

And I Shall Write a Book Entitled: What I Have Done Instead of Writing Papers

- Made coffee

- Watched approximately seven hours of Gilmore Girls

- Cleaned the litter box

- Went to buy coffee

- Slept

- Saw Stranger Than Fiction

- Looked out the window

- Vacuumed

- Washed my hair

- Watch The E! True Hollywood Story of Friends

- Made pancakes with cinnamon and vanilla

- Dusted

- Daydreamed about Christmas decorations

- Blogged

- Looked up people on IMDB

- Played with the cats

- Made a list of the things I've done to avoid actually writing a paper