Looooong Break, No?

No more problems with neighbors, 'cause I moved! I'm temporarily living at home (which I say so I don't sound like quite as much of a loser) and it is very quiet.

Except for the 42 cats that live there. Okay, there's only 7 cats (and 2 dogs), but that is a lot.

You should totally watch Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog. It is totally awesome, and I can't wait for the soundtrack to come out.

I've also been watching Battlestar Galatica. Yes, dorky Sci/Fi, and a little too serious for me but I am getting into it.

Things I am terrified about happening in the next 12 months (in chronological order):

• GRE General Test
• GRE Literature Test
• Apply to doctorate programs
  
• Trip to Europe with not enough money or planning
• Applying to more doctorate programs
• Getting in to/not getting in to doctorate programs
• Quitting my job and moving to a different state

Random Thoughts, Version....oh fuck it, I don't know.

• As you maybe could tell by my previous post, my head hurts. It has been hurting on and off (mostly on) since last Monday. I can't figure out what is causing it, and although it hasn't been as bad as it was on Labor Day (when I thought I was going to die), I would really like for it to stop. I'm thinking I should either give up caffeine or get a new bed. I'm also thinking that I will keep drinking caffeine and maybe sleep on the couch to see if that helps. Although next door neighbor would have to cooperate by TURNING THE GODDAMN RADIO OFF.
• Wow, I'm cranky. I really really need a break...I haven't taken a vacation since Spring Break and I would really like to not to have to come to work for a week. I could actually, I don't know, catch up with school stuff and get ready for my area exam.
• I am still sad about the death of a cat I knew for three weeks. No, I don't get attached to animals easily, why do you ask?
• I think I have some kind of rash under my arms.
• The conference I am going to in November has ALREADY cost me $1020. Jesus, I didn't realize it was that much...$420 airplane ticket, $500 hotel, $80 conference registration and special meals, and $20 to join the conference. I still have to pay for the majority of my meals while I am there, transportation to and from the airport, and anything extra I decide to do. This sure as hell better look damn good on my vitae. $1020 worth of good, actually.
• I have definitely spent more money on my cat's health in the last year than on mine.
• Chicago is coming up, and while I am pretty excited I am also nervous about missing that much study time. When I went to San Francisco two years ago I didn't realize how behind I would get. Also, a two day driving trip with my parents could go very very badly.
• I taught Ollie (my cat) how to sit. He picked it up in a day and thought that if he followed me around and sat down next to me that he would get a treat. I'm the boss, dude, not you!
• I read in my Entertainment Weekly magazine the other day that Christian Bale hated doing Newsies, especially the singing parts. Man, I still love you, but that movie rocks. I could (and have, probably) listen to that soundtrack every day and not be sick of it.
• Some people on the internet crack me up. Probably the top three people I would love to meet are Holly, Sarah, and Jimbo. All great writers with that quick wit thing that I can never do. I'm that person standing there awkwardly going "Um....yeah...so, that was fun!" Plus they have all traveled to awesome places that I plan to go someday.
• I figured out last week that perhaps the reason I love watching The Office so much is because Michael Scott reminds me of my boss. I won't elaborate here (don't want to get dooced!), but if you have seen the show you know what I am talking about. Oh, and I also love the theme song.
• I would give all the money in my back account to be able to go home and take a nap right now.
  

It's funny how much cleaner the office stays when you go from running 75 people in and out during a day down to...well, me.

Speaking of being clean, I ran out of Netflix last night and my DVR drive is EMPTY, so I ironed my new sheets. I also got a beautifully soft micro-fleece blanket from Target yesterday to match. Yes, it did cost $50 for the king size blanket, and no, I don't have a king size bed - but it is sooooooo soft. And although Target doesn't have the color I got on their website, it is same color as Ghost's eyes. A perfect match.

If I had a time machine

I would travel through time to see the original cast of every Broadway/West End show.

Except probably Hair. I don't really care for Hair, free love and hippie music aren't really my things.

Oh, and I would watch the revival of Company instead of the original because Raul Esparza melts my socks off.




Hell, if I have a time machine, I'll go see both the original and revival.

Enohpi!

Oh good God, I can't believe that the internet hasn't exploded with all of the geeks talking about their latest gadget. I refuse to mention the specific item because I think I will scream if I hear (well, read) the word one more time, but jeez louise people.






(I'm not jealous. At all. Really. Okay, whatever. I want one.)

Random Thoughts, Version 2.0 (with rather more links that I expected)

• Sometimes I get into the really morose/melancholy moods. I become convinced that everyone I know is going to die, or that I will lose my job, or that something really bad will happen to someone I know - so I sit around thinking about all the bad things that could happen to prepare myself. Tonight is one of those nights.
• Whenever I read my Bloglines, I open each blog into a new tab so that I can read it in context. And sometimes to mix it up, I read from the last one to the first one. Also, while reading, I highlight text as I go along so that I can keep track of where I am reading. I do not do this in books.
  
• Gilmore Girls ended tonight. I didn't realize how much I loved that show until they ended it PERFECTLY. The series romance is settled, but they didn't make it too gushy, and Rory is able to pursue her career without being saddled with a boyfriend. Although it may not have the longevity of Little Women, it will be right below it in my heart. Such a good show, about good people, with only a few falters. Although I like to think I would love more episodes, I think it is true that it is better to go out on the top rather than staying around too long (*cough* Friends *cough*).
• Work is CRAZY right now. I don't want to get "dooced," so I will just say that we are coming into the busiest month of my life and I feel like someone enrolled me in a marathon sprint without telling me. I literally thought my head was going to explode this morning with trying to keep track of everything I needed to do. This brings me to my next thought.
• I may not be around as much for the next month or so. The two weeks of hell starts in June. but the ramp leading up to it is getting steeper and steeper. And then I get to leave in the middle of everything to go to Virginia to give a paper discussing a book in front of two of my professors and the AUTHOR OF THE DAMN BOOK I WROTE ABOUT. Swell.
• Who knew Fergie could actually sing? And hey, Jess from Gilmore Girls, remember your roots boy now that you're all hot stuff, making out with Fergie and having a new show and all. And by hot, I mean...hot.
• I want this.
• I've been reading a lot lately, and in a week or two I'm going to call the cable company to barter a deal. A deal you say? With the cable company? Yes. I'm going to see if I continue to pay them $7 a month for an equipment fee if I can keep my DVR for the summer but cancel my cable. I'll get it back in August/September, but I don't want it for the summer. I want to make better use of my time than sitting and watching useless shows or repeats of shows I've already seen. I'm not some crazy hipster, though, I still have my movies. And the cable is coming back.
• When I was younger, the best part of my day was the time right before bed. I would lay in bed and dream of all the romantic, lovely, and exciting things that would happen to me in the future. Somewhere around the time I moved back home from my first year of college, that ended. Now I try to distract myself as much as possible before going to bed, so I don't have to worry, plan, and feel guilty about my day, the past, and what is inevitably coming up. I miss looking forward to things and not dreading them. I miss being friendly with the dark. And I miss wondering if someone else was thinking about me before they were going to sleep.

Good night, internet. Sweet dreams for us all.

Paint fumes making it hard to think

more bomb threats

still with the papers already?

I have $5.69 in my bank account.

Yesterday...was one hell of a day!

Things that happened yesterday:

• There was a bug in my coffee (which I fortunately did not drink).
• I went to the eye doctor
• I got a free lunch (with one and a half desserts!)
• There was a bomb threat in the English building, forcing them to evacuate and my favorite class to be canceled.
• The painters came to paint the trim in our office. They sanded the trim first (usual paint practice). My boss, not being the most practical of people, couldn't figure out what they had done, so he rubbed his finger on the trim. Then he licked his finger. I have no idea why.
• I had a minor panic attach about the mail.
• I gave a 10 minute presentation about a paper I haven't written. Actually, it was more like 5 minutes, because...well, I haven't written it yet!
• I found out when I will be giving my paper at the conference this summer. It was rather surreal seeing my name and the title of my paper on the schedule.
• My co-worked abandoned me for California. She won't be back until Monday.
• I spent the vast majority of my evening class trying to figure out why there seems to be a particular sub-species of boys in graduate school that are able to think brilliant, abstract, obscure, and philosophic thoughts but are completely unable to take care of themselves. I think they live on coffee and cigarettes, don't sleep, wear nice shoes with horrible shirts, and always have bed head. I would like to send them home, make them take a shower, change clothes, eat a real meal, and then come back to school with a little more common sense. [pause] I was totally paying attention in class, I swear. I was also not playing with my bottle of water and pen making watercolor paintings on my notes. Definitely not.
  

TMI

I do not understand why the instructions on my underwear says to turn them inside out before washing. Seriously, what is the point? That would be like turning my bra inside out. Or a towel. There ISN'T an inside out!

And also? My underwear is from Sri Lanka. It has traveled more than I have.

I guess that no one has any jokes for me. So I will tell you my favorite (appropriate) joke. I also have a few inappropriate jokes, but I will refrain from using those here.

Here is the joke (and you should imagine that it is told in an English accent, because that is how I heard it the first time):

There are two cows standing in a field. One cow turns to the other and says, "What do you think about this mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "I'm not a cow, I'm a helicopter!"

Reasons Why I Might Be OCD:

• I HATE those paper clips with little ridges on them. I also don't like ones that are bent too far the wrong way, or are just plain ugly. I throw them away. I like my paper clips smooth, silver, straight, and clean.
• I have been writing with the same type of pen since early in high school. It is a Pilot Precise V5, Extra fine, blue. I love it and will never change.
  
• It drives me crazy to have clothes on the floor. I do it every once in awhile (usually after a night on the town), but I hate it.
• I am kind of obsessive about my cuticles...I rub lotion into them a lot. I love lotion, such moisturey goodness.
  

Reasons Why I Might NOT Be OCD:

• There are four windows in my car. Only one (mine) actually opens. I couldn't care less if the rest of them do, which is why they have sticks holding them up instead of me actually paying for them to be fixed.
• I don't clean the litter box, sweep the floors, or vacuum nearly as often as I should.
• I'm not very good a routines. I tend to do something for anywhere from 2 weeks - 3 months, then quit.
• It does not bother me at all to not take a shower every day.
• I haven't washed my car since the summer. Last summer. At least.

So there's a new show on BBC American called Robin Hood...I think I'm going to like it!

There were two stay cats fighting on my porch yesterday morning. It scared Ollie so much that he wouldn't come out from under the bed all morning, and he still jumps at any noise above a whisper.

I'm tired...thank God my classes are over until after Spring Break...oh yeah, and thank God for Spring Break!

The calendar over my desk has "Hang in there...a break is near" written at the top. I keep staring at it, hoping the words will become true faster.

And today begins the weekend of birthdays...lots and lots of birthdays. It's a darn good thing my mom and I have birthdays in the fall/winter, because these spring birthdays kill me every year.

In other news, I got a scholarship to pay for most of my airplane ticket to the conference - hoorah!

Although I live by myself, I HATE being at work by myself. I am exceedingly unmotivated to do anything. At all. Speaking of which, I should get back to doing....well, nothing.

Found on the internet, this one is for Erin:

This is dedicated to every woman who ever attempted to get into regular workout routine.

Dear Diary...
For my fiftieth birthday this year, my husband (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my high school softball team, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer I'll call Bruce, who
identified himself as a 26 year old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.

Monday:
Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Bruce waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!! Bruce gave me a tour and showed me the machines. He took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. He was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring. Bruce was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!

Tuesday:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Bruce made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air - then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Bruce's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.

Wednesday:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Bruce was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying. My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Bruce put me on the stair monster. Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Bruce told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life.

Thursday:
Bruce was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Bruce took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. He sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine - which I sank.

Friday:
I hate that b^%$$d Bruce more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it. Bruce wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the *@*#$ barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. (Which I am sure you learned in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum laude from. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?

Saturday:
Bruce left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the *$@#& Weather Channel.

Sunday:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a root canal or a hysterectomy.

Popular at Dooce and Kottke.org today, a random link presented for your edification:

Writers who wrote naked.

Update: This makes me sad....and proves that (as discussed in my magical realism class) truth is often stranger than fiction.

Between the meetings, trainings, papers, reports, classes, presentations, and readings I didn't have time to post yesterday. I also did not have time to breathe, think, or sleep. Seriously, who needs that stuff anyway?

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I really don't talk about politics much because I'm not a big fan of emotional arguments, so last night's class disscusion about 9/11, The Passion of the Christ, Mel Gibson, Christianity (including Catholicism, Protestantism, and the definition of fundamentalism), psychology, and cognitive science made me very uncomfortable. What does this have to do with Milton, you ask? I have no idea.

In general, I have a big problem with people telling other people how they should think or believe, especially when their emotions get involved. I'm not saying that there was a screaming match in class, but I'm pretty sure one girl went home last night and burned the book we were talking about. I enjoy discussions with people that are able to talk about what they believe without attacking someone else's beliefs, or trying to "convert" them - I make my case, you make yours, and we agree to disagree but have learned more about how the other side views the world. The problem (for me) always comes when the other person is so emotionally invested in their argument that they are unable to even listen to another side, and like the conflict-avoider that I am, I tend to avoid these discussions altogether.

Just in case you were wondering, I have never been able to understand why killing someone will teach people to stop killing people. In politics and religion, I tend to start from there and work my way up (or down). I guess you would say that I am pretty liberal, but not an extreme case. If you disagree (and most people do), great, that is your opinion and I'm glad to let you have it.

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For the past few days, Ollie has been at work eating one of my cardboard shoe boxes. He will sit in the box and rip chunks of the sides off, then spit them out and start again. It's really weird, and I'm going to try to take a picture of it tonight.

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My latest favorite thing in the world (besides the DVR) is being able to watch the newest episodes of tv shows online. How awesome is that?

I have two things to say:

1. I am a dumbass, and should not have waited until the weekend to start reading for class Tuesday. I read for seven hours straight yesterday and get to go home and do it again after work today.
2. The ONLY reason I would ever want to be a movie star is so that people would come over to my house and do my hair and makeup for me. I'd wake up, take a shower, and then three people would show up and do everything else. (Three - makeup, hair, eyebrows.) I'm not a big fan of being famous, or of shallow people, so I could do without the rest of it.
   

I haven't done random thoughts in awhile, so here we go:

• After a discussion at lunch today, I have something to tell all the males of the world: Girls are WAY more weird than you ever give us credit for. And maybe even a little crazy. Also, don't buy a Mazda truck unless you like having your stuff stolen.
• I am going to have a BUTTLOAD of reading to do this semester. There go my weekends, and probably most week nights. (Hehehehe...Firefox is telling me that I spelling "buttload" wrong. Try this stupidasshoebagshitface spelling check! Just kidding, I love spell check.)
• Fat free Fig Newtons are where it is at.
• Unlike most people that listen to music they like, I listen to music I feel. It takes me forever at work to decide what I feel like listening to at a certain time, and you can usually tell my mood on any given day by checking the cd player in my car. If I'm listening to David LaMotte, it's probably best to leave me alone.
  
• I have no opinions whatsoever about the Oscar race. I've only seen about 2 of the movies that have been nominated for anything, and I have no strong attachment to any of the races.
• It is going to cost $136.14 to get my car fixed. Poor Jetta. Actually, I should say poor credit card.
• Why oh why did no one ever tell me about air dust? This is stuff is fabulous, and is an excellent distraction from actually doing something.
• I am out of publishable random thoughts.
  

Question:

Where do the women in M*A*S*H get their makeup and false eyelash supplies? Not to mention curling irons, hair spray, and hair clips. And martini glasses and olives?!?! I mean, really.

How much of a dork am I?

I just bought this, and cannot wait for it to arrive.