I'm starting to feel like I am drowning in a sea of books! I have so much reading to do this semester, in addition to the reports, papers, and presentations that I just get overwhelmed and do the absolute minimum. This concerns me, because last year at this time I was similarly overwhelmed but with an extra class. I'm not sure if there is actually is more to do now, or if my work ethic has gone down the toilet and I want to put less effort into things.

------------------------------

While I'm confessing my feelings, I also feel like I am ready for a new start. This is going to be a very busy & exciting summer (especially two weeks of it), and I'm coming up on the end of grad school in December. I'm still trying to figure out (or wait for a sign to tell me) whether I should be an 8th or 12th grade teacher to try to continue on with school, get my doctorate, and teacher at the college level. I kind of feel like I have more to say in school, and that I'm not done learning (academically). I also have been thinking a lot about what my life would be like as a professor. On the other hand, I've been planning for years to be a public school teacher, and I have so many plans, books, and ideas for my future classroom. I started out in children's literature in order to be able to be able to inspire my students with books that would be relevant to them, and I don't know if I will be able to translate that into a fight for critically studying children's literature. There's also the old insecurities of actually being smart enough and knowing enough to be able to jump to the collegiate level.

I guess I still have some time to think about things.

This was the quote I received in my email today:

"Striving for perfection is the greatest stopper there is.… It's your excuse to yourself for not doing anything. Instead, strive for excellence, doing your best."
– Sir Laurence Olivier


Is that a hint?

----------------------------

Also, if you would like to listen to something that breaks your heart, try Miss Saigon. Jesus, this is sad.

I know I'm a slacker, but my Halloween and New Year's Eve shoes got NOTHING on these.


OUCH!

My thoughts about the Oscars (because no one else is doing this):

• Ellen cracks my shit up. So does Meryl Streep.
  
• Nicole Kidman is much taller and thinner than I thought she was.
• Will Smith's kid is way cute.
  
• Clive Owen is the sexiest man at the Oscars....maybe even in the world.
• Side note - it's kind of hard to type on a laptop with two cats in my lap.
• Fast-forwarding through all the boring crap is wonderful.
• Kate Winslet is one of my heroes; in my humble opinion, she is the most beautiful woman at the Oscars.
• What the hell happened to Al Gore's face? Speaking of which, I have no idea who I'm going to vote for in the next presidential election. Hmm, something to research. In my spare time.
• I was telling my parents the other day that Hugh Jackman might be starring in a new musical version of Gone With the Wind, and my mom had no idea who Hugh Jackman was.
• I really really should see Pan's Labyrinth.
  
• Same goes for Little Miss Sunshine.
• In fact, I should probably see all of those other movies, except Dreamgirls. You know I saw that.
• I'm kind of concerned for Jennifer Hudson's boobs. I mean, congratulations to her for winning and all, but I think that they are about to pop out of her dress.
• Phillip Seymour Hoffman is seriously creepy.
• I don't care who you are, you have to love Will Smith.
• Wow, I thought for sure that Leo would win.
• Thank the Lord Martin finally won Best Director...now everyone can quit talking about it.

So, to sum up: love, creepy, boobs, boring crap, sexy man, and shit.

If you have a few minutes to spare, watch this.




Besides his sexy accent, I think he definitely has a point. I didn't realize it, but Britney and I are almost exactly the same age. I can't image having two kids, much less a divorce and a paparazzi army following me around. I think that underneath all the jokes, comments, and negative buzz around her, we are really hoping for her to make the ultimate comeback.

Did I get my tax return today?

Yes I did.

Did I place an order at Amazon.com today?

Oh hell yes I did.

-----------------------------------------

In other news, I have gray, white, antique white, and deep red in my hair. No, it's not highlights, it's paint. Swell.

So we are painting our office (the back room) and I'm smelly. Very smelly. And very very tired. Usually when I paint my arms don't get sore. Just my wrists, sides, and thighs (from all the stretching and bending).

I thought I'd let you guys know that I smell.

Oh, and if anyone has $390 that they would like to donate, I need to buy an airplane ticket so that I can present a paper. That would be great, thanks.

Yay, I'm smart!!!

My paper was just accepted to the 34th Annual International Conference of the Children's Literature Association.

Whoooooo Hooooooooo!

I think I am becoming a MacDork...I want this so bad.

I've spent the last 45 minutes watching Steve Jobs introduce the iPhone, and I am planning on watching the keynote address as well.

When did this happen??

Sometimes I feel like this is my job.

One of the things that terrifies me most about writing is that someone always seems to say what I want to say, only they said it first and much more articulately.

And then there are days that I thank God for the internet, because I can find people that write things that I've always wanted to say, but either never got around to actually writing it, or never had the guts to put it on paper (or screen).

In celebration of both of these things, I found this while not writing my paper this evening:

"I wanted to have the lovely house on the acreage, the woodshed full of firewood and the garden full of goodness out back. I wanted to have the quaint and colorful kitchen with the big heavy locally made coffee cups, the big spice rack, the pots hanging from the ceiling and the plants along with window above the sink. I wanted to look out that window and see my family’s clothes drying in the noonday sun. I wanted the big bookcase and the two reading chairs in the cozy living room. I wanted to have a house full of music, children laughing, toys to be picked up everyday and a faithful dog in front of the stone hearth. I wanted to be able to walk a steamy cup of coffee to my desk, where I’d work for bits of the day at a time. I wanted to pack the kids up and go into town or over to Gramma’s house. I wanted to lay every night beside the man I love and I wanted to wake up with his arms around me every morning. I wanted to feel safe and loved and protected and cherished. I wanted to love so fiercely and be loved back with such confidence that nothing could keep us from rocking on the porch of our house forever and ever until the end.

I wanted these things all my life. Oh, the details have changed somewhat over the years but the general life map is there. The home, the “man”, the kids. What if my time is over? What if I missed that train?

I’m so tired of wanting these things, but there’s nothing else I really want for myself. And I’m really having a hard time being thankful for what I do have." - http://blog.reddirtroad.ca/

Because I am too tired to put together a coherent sentence that it not required by my job/school, I am stealing a page from Meg's book(blog) and will answer her questions.

Things That Get Me All In A Frenzy:

1. Five foods you can’t stop eating.

• Is coffee a food?
• Peanut butter crunch cereal, with lots of milk
• New England clam chowder
• Cheese
• Sugar
  

2. Five things you have to do every day or you will GO NUTS.

• Drink coffee
• Checking my email seems so laaaaaame...
• Wash my hands (I don't like feeling ichy stuff on my hands)
• Lately, checking Bloglines
• Have a conversation with someone that is not about work OR school
  

3. Five things you must have in your home (no points for bed, TV, fridge, toilet… don’t EVEN!)

• Cheese/bread
• My cats
• Cheer laundry detergent - you never know when you will have a laundry emergency!
• Those smelly things that plug into the wall
• My cell phone
  

4. Five (well, seven) smells that make you happy.

• The smell of really old books
• Christmas (winter + cinnamon + baking + wrapping paper)
  
• My mom's chocolate chip cookies baking
• Movies (popcorn + soda + candy + staleness)
• The smell of my cats when I bury my face in their fur
• Coffee brewing
  
• The smell of my apartment when I open all the windows and it is not too hot and not too cold.
  

5. Five things that get you through the day.

• Coffee/caffeine
• The internets
• My iPod (especially the musical playlist)
  
• Coming home to my cats
• Feeling like I've accomplished something
  

Did I mention coffee?

Top 10 Things I Would Rather Be Doing Now (instead of writing an essay exploring a close reading of lines 121-146 in Paradise Regained, Book II):

1. Taking pictures
2. Taking a nap
3. Playing with the cats
4. Sitting on my patio reading a good book
5. Watching a movie with all of the windows open
6. Shopping
7. Walking
8. Driving out RR 32 with the windows rolled down, listening to my now-fixed cd player
9. Drinking coffee at some nice little cafe, reading the newspaper
10. Getting my eyes lasered again, or a root canal, or that really fun appointment that women have to do every year.

I think you get the picture.

For the past year or so I've been recording VH1's weekly music video countdown and watching it on Saturdays while I clean. It's one of my favorite parts of the weekend.

As I watched the countdown today, I have a few comments:

• WHY oh why must everyone keep spelling out shit in their songs? Yes, you can spell (sort of). What's the point? Have we become so used to crappy lyrics that we accept THE SPELLING OF WORDS instead of an actual song?
• I haven't ever listened to much of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, but I really like their last two songs.
• This countdown seems a little flip-flopped - Nora Jones is the toast of the music community right now, the top of all the charts I know of, and everyone is talking about her. Her video did not make the countdown. Blue October, on the other hand, has the #1 video and I rarely hear the mass media talking about them. I know which I prefer, but it just seems strange.
• It's driving me crazy that the host is now wandering all over NYC. It just reminds me how much I want to go back there.
• I love Fall Out Boy's new video. It's always cool when celebrities/bands/etc. make fun of themselves, and they do an excellent job in the video. Plus, it's just the kind of song that I love, very peppy.
• Regina Spektor annoys the shit out of me.
• Amy Lee is absolutely beautiful, and has a voice to match. She may be the poster child of the goth-girl revival, but I love her anyway.
  
• The recent trend of laid-back boy group rock is ridiculous. Nickelback/Augustana/The Fray/Daughtry/Dashboard Confessional all sound the same to me, and I fast foward through all of their videos. Booooring. I left the Goo Goo Dolls out because they were one of the first cds I played when I started driving, and they will always have a special place in my heart. And don't even get me started on John Mayer/James Blunt/Daniel Powter/Mat Kearney whiny "sensitive" boys. I do also do not include Snow Patrol in either category, because I love them and they kick ass.
  
• Timbaland is sexxxy, and seems almost guaranteed to make a song a hit.
• Because I have been a Blue October fan for so long, to watch them come from the crappiest video EVER ("Calling You" - astronauts? A space ship? Bad CGI? A stupid concept AND no sign that the band members are actually a band that play instruments? Bad idea + bad execution = crappy video) to "Hate Me" and then "Into the Ocean" is wonderful. I think they did a great job with "Hate Me," especially by including Justin's mom, but I love the whole look and feel of "Into the Ocean." Literary allusions aside (Moby Dick anyone?), the costumes, the makeup, and the cinematography all work very well together, especially with Justin's stage persona.

I think that just about concludes the wrap-up of this week's show. Off to bury my nose in a book. Okay, I might eat lunch first, who knows.

I have got to remember to stop buying the movie soundtracks of musicals I already have. The Phantom and RENT movie soundtracks suck ass, yo.

I just realized that when thinking about what to write in my blog, I want to start every sentence with "you know..." And I thought, hey, maybe they don't know. So I'm going to tell you.

When it is 26 degrees outside, there is nothing so fabulous as spilling hot coffee in your lap and then having to walk around the corner to wash your hands. And by fabulous, I mean a motherfucking-waste of caffeine.

"Hi! Hello people! How are you? Me? I'm just maaaarvelous, darling! This stain here? Yup, coffee, all down my leg."

I know I'm a little late with this, but I just watched the episode of Grease from last Sunday. And are you KIDDING me? 99% of these kids should feel lucky just to be breathing the same air as Andrew Lloyd Webber, and they have the nerve to fuck up their songs? Jesus. All of these kids are pushing too hard, they need to chill out. "Buenos Aires" physically hurt me - I think my face is stuck in a permanent cringe. Girlfriend did not have the voice for that song, I don't care what the judges say. And I don't remember if I've mentioned this before, but the only way I can watch reality tv is by recording it. Grease is supposed to be 2 hours long, and I watched the parts I cared about in 45 minutes.

I like lists, so you are getting another list today.

• Overall, I had a great Valentine's Day. We drank margaritas, talked, and then Erin found out she passed her big scary test. I also got my work baby back, and although her power source had to be replaced, she still lights up my life. Everyone should be so lucky as to have a beautiful computer like mine.
• I got Ollie a new toy yesterday that HE LOVES. He played with it for an hour and a half straight last night. Ghost took a nap.
• Gilmore Girls was very sad this week. I cried. Lauren Graham deserves a damn Emmy already.
• I did my taxes and am getting a little money back, so I am going to buy the following cds:
• The Drowsy Chaperone
  
• Miss Saigon
(my old copy is too scratched to even rip anymore)

• Sweeney Todd
• The Woman in White
• Charlie Brown
• Spamalot
• I had better go, I am five minutes late for a meeting.
  

On this Valentine's Day (as I have previously explained to Erin, the girl who is going to jail for missing jury duty) I have decided to hate everyone that has someone. Yes, that means you. I hate you. I am doing my best bitter girl right now, damn being politically correct and a modern single woman. Suck it, enlightened people. You probably have dates.

In other news, this made me laugh. Read it, then go off and be happy with whomever you want. I am going to drink margaritas and make fun of sappy people.

So in both of my classes today we talked about Satan. Is this supposed to tell me something?


---------------------------------


And I got tired of all the 9/11 and The Passion of the Christ talk, so I talked about Firefly in my presentation. The last laugh? I think so.

So far, including today and the weekend:

• My virus protection has expired on both of my PCs at home.
• My temporary copy of Office is about to expire on my new laptop.
• My car's 8 disk cd changer will not eject, or play.
• The cup holder in my car (the only one that will hold my coffee without spilling) is broken.
• The windshield wipers on my car have yet to be successfully installed, and I'm afraid to use them in case they decide to fly off and impale some poor guy's eye.
• I left my cell phone at home.
• My beautiful iMac at work died. As in, I plugged it into fifteen different places and it didn't make a peep, or a blip, or a sigh. Nothing. I am heartbroken.

Today I need to:

• Finish reading (as in, the last two-thirds) Master and Margarita.
  
• Create a handout for a presentation.
• Read an article.
• Read Book 2 of Paradise Regained.
• Do my taxes.
  

Waking up late on a Saturday morning with one cat laying on either side of me has to be one of the BEST things in the world.

Getting up to eat toast, drink coffee, and watch the coolest design on While You Were Out (from last Sunday) makes it the best day of the whole week.

FYI: I tried to find some pictures, or at least of description, of the room but no luck so far. They painted the walls with black and white stripes, lots of modern-looking furniture, shelves made out of clear fish tanks, lots of turquoise, a tv-body project, a chandelier made out of black curlers, and my absolute FAVORITE was the wooden table with grass in between the wood and the glass top. I covet that table. It doesn't really sound like my style, but I loved the whole room.

I love Texas.

I love that people will let you out into traffic with a smile and a wave.

I love that everyone asks you how you are doing, and that they tell you to have a nice day.

I love that little kids are taught to say "Yes ma'am" and "No ma'am."

I love that you can drive for a whole day and still be inside Texas - although you might be in another time zone.

I love that in just about every class I've ever taken, I've come out with a new friend.

I love that although I am preparing myself to explore the world in the next few years, Texas will always be home to me.

Popular at Dooce and Kottke.org today, a random link presented for your edification:

Writers who wrote naked.

Update: This makes me sad....and proves that (as discussed in my magical realism class) truth is often stranger than fiction.

Between the meetings, trainings, papers, reports, classes, presentations, and readings I didn't have time to post yesterday. I also did not have time to breathe, think, or sleep. Seriously, who needs that stuff anyway?

----------------------------

I really don't talk about politics much because I'm not a big fan of emotional arguments, so last night's class disscusion about 9/11, The Passion of the Christ, Mel Gibson, Christianity (including Catholicism, Protestantism, and the definition of fundamentalism), psychology, and cognitive science made me very uncomfortable. What does this have to do with Milton, you ask? I have no idea.

In general, I have a big problem with people telling other people how they should think or believe, especially when their emotions get involved. I'm not saying that there was a screaming match in class, but I'm pretty sure one girl went home last night and burned the book we were talking about. I enjoy discussions with people that are able to talk about what they believe without attacking someone else's beliefs, or trying to "convert" them - I make my case, you make yours, and we agree to disagree but have learned more about how the other side views the world. The problem (for me) always comes when the other person is so emotionally invested in their argument that they are unable to even listen to another side, and like the conflict-avoider that I am, I tend to avoid these discussions altogether.

Just in case you were wondering, I have never been able to understand why killing someone will teach people to stop killing people. In politics and religion, I tend to start from there and work my way up (or down). I guess you would say that I am pretty liberal, but not an extreme case. If you disagree (and most people do), great, that is your opinion and I'm glad to let you have it.

----------------------------

For the past few days, Ollie has been at work eating one of my cardboard shoe boxes. He will sit in the box and rip chunks of the sides off, then spit them out and start again. It's really weird, and I'm going to try to take a picture of it tonight.

----------------------------

My latest favorite thing in the world (besides the DVR) is being able to watch the newest episodes of tv shows online. How awesome is that?

Gosh, I hope that I'm not the only person who didn't watch the superbowl. I spent the entire afternoon/evening/night at the library yesterday, and I'm going back again tonight. Stupid Milton.

In other news, I bought the Dreamgirls soundtrack, and the cast recording of Spring Awakening on iTunes today. I've been enjoying Dreamgirls all day today; I'm going to wait and listen to Spring Awakening at home before playing it here. I would rather not be jamming out with the music turned up and then have "Totally Fucked" come on. Or even "The Bitch of Living." I made the mistake of playing Avenue Q at work once, and although I remembered to skip "The Internet is for Porn" I completely forgot about "You Can Be As Loud As the Hell You Want." Whoops. Not to mention last week when I played "Salt and Pepper."

Short and Sweet

You may have noticed that I added a few links to the sidebar; I also suddenly realized that they were not alphabetized which is against the order of the universe, so I fixed that. I don't have a lot to say today, so I would encourage you to go and read what much better blogs and sites have to say about the world.

P.S. These are just my opinions about the followings sites, so please don't sue me or anything.

• Blue October Open Book
• This is mostly where I go to remind myself that there are other people in the world. It's fun to see the drama that goes down sometimes, although I am strickly a lurker.
  
• Blurbomat
• Husband to the famous Dooce, posts a lot of interesting pictures and stuff about Macs.
  
• Broadway.com
• Hello, I love Broadway. If you love Broadway, this is your site. Lots of articles, movies, and pictures of the shows and stars currently on the great white way.
  
• Dooce
• As far as I know, one of the most famous personal blogs; Dooce is extremely funny, extremely honest, and a beautiful photographer. If you aren't reading her website, you should be. Oh, and say hello to the 21st century.
  
• For Better or For Worse
• My favorite comic strip.
  
• Go Fug Yourself
• Famous people mercilessly mocked for their fashion choices; these girls stole my sense of humor and made it even funnier and more sarcastic.
  
• Internet Movie Database
• I am obsessed with this website and will often hit it up five or six times a day. I read the daily news, look up quotes, trivia, and goofs for my favorite shows and keep up with my most useful habit: knowing exactly who is in whatever show and movie I am watching and what else they have been in. It drives me CRAZY when I can't figure out where else I have seen an actor, I have to look it up instantly. It is not uncommon for me to come straight home from the movies and log onto imdb.
  
• kottke.org
• I just started reading this site, and a few of the more technical articles go over my head, but overall it is a very intelligent site with a wide variety of posts and links. I learn things here.
  
• Metro Dad
• This guy lives in NYC which automatically makes him cool in my book, and tells hilarious stories about his life with his wife (BossLady), his daughter (Peanut), and his dog (MetroDog). Plus, he actually watches more tv AND reads more than I do.
  
• Perez Hilton
• Trashy, trashy, trashy website with the latest in Hollywood trashy news. Did I say trashy? Seriously, if you have any respect for me, don't read this website because all your respect will fly out the window. Most people can't look away from car crashes - I can't look away from celebrity news.
  
• Post Secret
• An amazing website, changing the way that people think about themselves. It is updated every weekend with new secrets; some are funny, some are serious, some break your heart, and other make you feel not alone. Mad props to the owner for simply putting up the cards without judgment, comment, or advertising.
  
• Que Sera Sera
• This lady is who I want to be when I grow up; very funny, a great writer, AND she also lives in NYC. If I didn't freeze up in social situations with people I admire, I would totally want to hang with her.
  
• The Superficial
• Kind of a combination of the Fugly girl's wit and the Perez trash celeb-news. Sometimes funny, sometimes offensive, I can't help but read it. C'mon, I don't read the tabloids in the grocery store, or even People magazine.
  
• Sure Thing, Babs
• This lady knows her shit; written in third person this site is half story, half blog. I envy her writing style and have enjoyed reading every single one of her posts.
  
• Sweet Juniper!
• The cutest couple with the cutest kid in the world. Beautiful pictures of a blond two-year old in front of decrepit building covered in graffiti, innovative children's books, indie music recommendations, excellent writing, and cute stories. Oh, and the Friday daily urchin pictures are really cool.
  
• Tomato Nation
• I also just found this website, and have enjoyed reading it. A few of the entries kind of lose me, but the majority are amazing. The kind of writing that stays with you, and you find yourself thinking about days later.
  
• What's Alan Watching?
• A guy who writes about my favorite tv shows? Bring it on! I have to keep ignoring Bloglines when it tells me that a new post has been added because I haven't had time to watch any tv lately, but I enjoy reading what he has to say after I've seen the shows. I do disagree with him about Studio 60, though.
  

Last night I went shopping. This morning, I attended a financial health seminar. Coincidence? Yes and no; ironically, both were scheduled right around the first of month.

I only buy clothes once every six months or so, and when I do I tend to go a little crazy. It's like I forgot that I had the option of buying new clothes for so long that when I suddenly remember I get a little high from the glorious pleasure of buying new clothes that don't have stains/holes on them. I tend to not watch what I'm doing when I'm eating and often fling fork fulls of food onto my shirt, and then forget all about it when doing laundry - that results in a stain that will never come out, no matter how many times I keep trying to rewash it. I also tend to not notice when my clothes have holes in them. I think that if I like an item of clothing it should last forever. I'll never understand why my t-shirts from 8th grade keep getting holes in them. My second favorite t-shirt was free from Bank of America my freshman year of college; it has so many holes in the sleeves that they are basically falling off. But I love that damn shirt, and have decided to call it "ventilation" instead of "trashy." My parents, who on occasion wear matching red fedoras, refuse to be seen with me when I am wearing that shirt. Maybe that should tell me something. (By the way, in case you were wondering, my favorite t-shirt is a Blue October shirt that says "To kill a young man's point of view is to kill his only friend" on the back. My dad likes that shirt.)

Back to my point - I went shopping last night and spent too much money. I think I got my money's worth though; I got four skirts, two shirts, a dress, and three pairs of shoes. And no, I'm not telling you how much I spent. I'm not telling myself how much I spent. Most of it is much more appropriate for work, as in the past I have worn jeans, a polo shirt, and sneakers five days a week.

And then this morning I got to learn all about debt, credit scores, and budgets (or "spending plans"). I'm pretty sure blowing a bunch of money in one night is not on the "spending plan." Oh well.